so hang me out to dry

[likesboys]

Even though Kurt was doing his best to keep up with his overly ambitious schedule, there were days when he wanted to do nothing more than laze out on the trampoline. He had patterns to make, brunch recipes to plan, a part to rehearse, and a fiancé to consider, but something about that morning was just too much for Kurt to process, and so he laid out on top of the trampoline right outside of the Compound.

Just thinking.

Five minutes turned into ten, then ten into half an hour, and he could only stare at the unrelenting blue of the sky, fingers rubbing along the gold band on his finger.

It was a good day, all things considered, but so much had happened in the past couple of months that Kurt felt incapable of focus.

Licking his lips, he glanced up as he heard steps approach, brow arching to see if it was anyone familiar.

Comments

[loveofmasters]

Florence could barely count the number of ways she loved having a fiancé who was more than happy to take over all the little wedding details. While she stressed over her dress and the few things she had to handle, she knew that everything else was in capable hands. She could go to her classes, teach her classes, and let Jack work whatever magic he could and she knew, after birthday and holiday surprises that she would love whatever he came up with. That was just the kind of man he was, bless him for it. Meanwhile, she'd enjoy the sunshine and stretch her legs during a study and writing break. Lesson plans didn't write themselves and while all of last terms plans were certainly still valid, she liked adding and subtracting items here and there.

Seeing a familiar form laid out on the trampoline, she approached cautiously, hoping she wasn't intruding on any deep thoughts. Or perhaps a nap? He certainly seemed to be relaxing. "Kurt? Are you alright? I'm not disturbing you am I?"

[likesboys]

"No," Kurt answered quickly, still slightly restless with the ever pressing thought of all the tasks he had yet to complete for the day. Pushing himself up against the elastic, he sat on the edge of the trampoline with his legs dangling off the side, kicking out at turns. "You're always more than welcome to interrupt my day, Mademoiselle Vassey," he added, slightly cheeky but mostly fond as he hooked his hands over the rim and gestured for his teacher to join him.

Being invited to her wedding had helped Kurt relax slightly around Florence. Not that she was ever hard to talk to— but there was something about being wanted at such an intimate occasion that made it impossible to hold too much distance.

"I was just taking a break from... gosh, the whirlwind my life's been lately, I suppose."

[loveofmasters]

"A whirlwind, hmm?" She wasn't a trampoline kind of woman, but she figured she could sit for awhile. Kurt certainly seemed to have a lot on his mind and as one of his teachers, she felt like it was her place to check up on him, if he needed her to. The kids here, ripped away from their parents and friends from home, it must be difficult to deal with everything the island could throw at them.

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

[likesboys]

"A whirlwind, which I'm sure must sound very dramatic," Kurt said, grinning and raising a shoulder with a coy look, one which he relaxed from quickly as he kicked his feet out, enjoying the weight of momentum. "But I mean, even beyond the standard weight of dealing with being on this island at all and dealing with its antics... I'm teaching more classes than before, I'm acting a role in Henry IV, and I'm newly engaged."

He took a slight breath, smiling in spite of himself. "It's great, but it also just hits you sometimes. How chaotic it all is."

[loveofmasters]

At first, she wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly. He'd listed off several things that were perfectly normal for a boy his age, advanced even, considering he was teaching, but after a startled moment, she realized she had heard him right. "You're engaged? Aren't you a little young to be getting married?"

She knew she shouldn't judge, but it was so... surprising. Yes, kids still got married young, but even in her time it was getting rarer and rarer.

[likesboys]

Kurt's lips thinned out upon hearing Florence's assessment. There was a rather unforgiving thought or two that passed through his mind, wanting to point out that just because she'd waited until she was practically thirty to make the choice didn't mean that he had to wait similarly long. There was nothing wrong with waiting until one was in their thirties, forties, or further out, even— but Kurt didn't like the implication that there was something wrong with being promised earlier, either.

"Am I?" he asked, expression plain. "I know that, as things stand right now, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know that these feelings could change, but... that goes for any couple who's engaged or married. The point is, I'm ready to throw my cards in right now, give it everything I've got. Is there... something so wrong about that?"

[loveofmasters]

"I'm not judging, Kurt, I'm just surprised. And there's nothing wrong with it, but it is a lot to take in and a big responsibility." Not that she thought he wasn't up to it, but... he was still a teenager. Even she'd waited until college to really get involved with anyone, and that had ended up a disaster. She didn't want him rushing into anything without really thinking it through.

[likesboys]

He was slightly mollified by the fact that Florence wasn't judging. At least, didn't want to put it in those words. While Kurt knew that an overly zealous defense could harm the perception people had of him and his relationship, it was hard not to be dogged about the way he felt for Blaine. It was a sentiment that Kurt never wanted to let go in the slightest, even when it made him nervous sometimes.

He knew that they'd fought before, that they were still ironing out the kinks.

The thing was, he enjoyed that process.

"I know. Which is why I think we'll have a long engagement," Kurt murmured. "But... I guess I just, just wanted to make sure he knew how I felt. Things get so volatile here."

[loveofmasters]

"There are other ways of letting you know you love him without rushing into something so young, you know. And I think he already knew that, would have known that without the rings." Although even as she said it, she knew that she was looking at a younger version of herself. She fell in love fast, so fast, always had. And she tried to hold on, desperately, even. Foolishly sometimes. Twisting the ring on her finger she felt a flash of doubt, was she the one rushing in? Was she so excited to be with someone who could get married that she wasn't taking the time to consider weather or not they should?

"Aside from letting him know you love him, do you have other reasons for wanting to get married? Do the two of you want children?"

[likesboys]

"It's not just that I love him," Kurt replied, still feeling a rush of defensiveness in his chest, where it beat against his ribs like a bird in a cage. "It's that I want to love him for the rest of my life. I want to be able to talk about spending the rest of my life with him without it just being this vague concept. I want people to know that we're not just devoted to each other for the time being, we've already started growing around one another and we're taking the relationship very seriously." He shifts, slightly uncomfortable on the edge of the trampoline, and carefully avoids one of the larger springs.

"We know it's early. We know the odds are against us; but we've never exactly caved to the odds, either." Kurt frowns. "Also, it's not very nice to bring up children when the option to have them for us is all but gone here."

[loveofmasters]

"I don't think it's as hopeless as you think. Other couples have managed." She was thinking, of course, of Jack and Logan. Two of the earliest people who spoke to her, to whom she felt no small affection for even though she knew their road had been a difficult one. But if they could do it surely others could. There was so much kindness on the island, certainly someone would help them if they looked.

[likesboys]

Kurt's nose wrinkled in an expression of doubt, and he paused as he considered the idea of children from a distance. Already, he knew that the choice wouldn't be an easy one. People didn't usually stay very long on the island, and sometimes children were left behind without either biological parent. There weren't enough kids to make the idea of finding deep love likely if they even had the chance to grow up. And more importantly than all of that, Kurt feared the idea of ever contributing to that process himself, which he suspected Blaine would want.

What if Kurt had a son?

What if that son looked like him, was bullied, tormented, or at the very least, not taken half as seriously as other young boys on the island?

He frowned briefly, before shaking his head. They were way too young for that kind of talk anyway.

"Well, either way, no, we're not... engaged because we're thinking about kids. I think that choice is a much harder one. Even married, we're still just responsible for ourselves and to one another. Having kids would mean being entirely responsible for another person. I, at least, don't feel ready for that."

[loveofmasters]

At least that was a more adult attitude to take. She really didn't know why she was so shocked or questioning his choice, it really wasn't her place, but she felt somewhat responsible. He was still her student and in the absence of parents, well, who did he have? Who did any of the kids have?

"You know that whatever decisions you make, I'll help in any way I can, right? I just want to make sure that you've thought things through. Decisions like this, despite all the songs and dreams, they shouldn't be made overnight. Jack and I, we might have been moving fast, but we still talked a lot about our future and what we both wanted from it before we got engaged and we're still talking about it before we get married."

[likesboys]

There was still ever the temptation to lash out a little in defense. Kurt didn't like having his emotions doubted, he didn't like having people second-guess his intentions with Blaine, he didn't like people telling him that he couldn't do something. But then, whenever he thought about people younger than himself, he knew that he was prone to judging, prone to warning them off certain decisions. This was really no different. He knew that Florence meant well, and if he wanted to convince her of his maturity, he had to reply accordingly.

"I know," he said slowly with a slight nod. "We got engaged over a month ago, you know, it's not... it's not like we haven't had time to think about it or back down. And we're not setting a date for our wedding ceremony, we don't even know roughly when we want it to be. It could be a lot worse. We could be Vegasing it, but we're not."