breaking hearts for far too long

[likesboys]

Never until landing in Darrow has Kurt quite understood the meaning of crawling under one's skin. Countless times over high school years, Kurt's felt the quick pulse of his heart in his ears, the tight restriction of his breathing, the buzz of anticipation. He's felt a constant churning of his stomach, known the feeling of a heart leaping into his throat, the feeling of weightlessness that comes with the complete unexpected — these are sensations that Kurt's learned from being a teenager.

But in Darrow, he's learning something similar, yet not quite the same: the sensation that comes with being altogether too small.

There are people who have vanished these past few weeks, whisked away to another realm, another reality, one that he's only barely brushed by before, and yet still feels irrevocably changed by. He remembers the raining ash and the screams of children burning from inside out, and in spite of the lingering autumn sun above and the coffee cup warm against the palm of his hand, it's that he sees and feels, driving a sudden shiver up his spine.

And he just can't.

The high pile of Shakespeare plays on his table go untouched as Kurt jolts back, staring at all of it with wide eyes as his arms quickly cross in front of his waist.


[ dated to after all the silent hill shenanigans ]

Comments

[goodfella]

He recognizes the kid instantly - he doesn't have a very standard face. Handsome, but not standard, with large eyes and a long, pinched nose that give him a lupine appearance, something which Robin doesn't find unattractive.

But more to the point, they've met a few times before. The kid sells clothes in a department store Robin frequents, especially for nice sweaters now that the weather has turned.

He didn't know the kid was an aspiring actor, but it doesn't surprise him. Raising a manicured brown brow, Robin slips into the seat across from Kurt, sliding a cup of hot apple cider identical to his own across the table, even though he already has a coffee in palm.

"What's got your goat?" he asks, immediately forcing a conversation.

[likesboys]

He wants to attempt a smile, and very much so, for Robin Goodfellow. It's not that Robin's opinion ought to matter more than most other people's, but... between that fashion sense and that charming face, Kurt can't help himself. He's certainly not one to tell other people off for being superficial, not with the way his preferences have run over the years, and the fact that Robin has a sharp tongue besides leaves Kurt more forgiving than he is most of the time. He appreciates a sharp wit.

At the moment, however, it doesn't help his situation. Either with respect to Lisbeth, or the pile of books stacked high on the table.

"Have you heard about the disappearances lately?" Kurt asks, deciding to dive right into the matter. "One of my good friends here just up and vanished recently, and I can't find her, and it's... obviously distracting me a fair amount. With good reason."

[goodfella]

Robin had been expecting a conversation very different from the young man across from him, though that doesn't necessarily mean he would have preferred something shallower, less searching. Indeed, not - he's surprised, but pleasantly so, and it draws him closer from across the table with interest written on his lifted brow and the curl of his lips. It isn't quite a smile. It isn't quite an expression, so much as a pause for thought between the old one and the next one.

"I have," he answers, honest but vague. He wants to see where this goes before he commits too much of himself to it. "You looked for her? They're returning as well. The people who disappear. Some of them, at least."

[likesboys]

Much Ado gets pushed slightly off to the side as Kurt glances up, Robin's words immediately planting hope in his chest. It sounds like Robin knows more, somehow, and even though Kurt hasn't seen the man all too many times, he can't help thinking that there's really no surprise that comes from that revelation. Robin seems like a well-connected guy. Thoughtful, if also potentially grating on those who aren't fit to cope with a personality like his.

Kurt personally doesn't mind.

"They're returning? Where... where did they go? Is it somewhere I can head to and help with?" Kurt asks, eyes wide.

[goodfella]

Robin gives a shrug, the sort of shrug which is almost an apology for what he says next. Robin is not entirely callous, not most of the time, and he does feel as if the news he has to offer is disappointing. Disappointing, but it's the truth, and the disappointing truths are the ones which Robin is at times most reluctant to tell.

At the very least, to a face that is as earnest as it is shrewd, like this young man's.

Robin does, after all, have connections - and he doesn't feel comfortable without a finger on the pulse of a situation, not when it's one as creepy as this.

"It isn't anywhere you can head to help with," he says, simply. There is much more to it, but it's up to Kurt to ask for details.

[likesboys]

"But you know where she is. You know and have... been there?" Kurt asks, staring at Robin with a deepening frown, trying his best to wade through unfamiliar territory, catching glimpses of emotions he recognizes. Guilt, oddly, seems to be one of them.

"You're not secretly some kind of mobster, right? You don't know of anyone that's kidnapped her, right? Because if that — I'm not very tough, but I know how to turn to the law if I need to," Kurt says quickly, his voice slightly raising in pitch. He needs to find Lisbeth, not only because he's only ever felt safe with her around, but because she's a friend.

He hasn't made many close ones in the city yet.

[goodfella]

"A mobster?" Robin says, with a bleat of surprise. "Hades, no. I work alone. Actually, I don't work alone. I work with small groups of well-trained employees selling an honest product, or at least, I had, until recently. I have fun alone. Usually."

He puts both hands in the air, palms out. "You know what, that is irrelevant. I am not a mobster. There's no turning to the law here, kid. We're talking something very different. Something very nastier. But you are going to have to lend me a little credulity here. Not too much. Just enough that I can be sure I'm not wasting my time only to have you storm out in a huff over my mouth. I don't like to waste my time."

[likesboys]

"Okay, seeing as how you're wordier than I am by a mile, I'm not sure you really have too much room to be complaining about wasted time," Kurt murmurs, although his quip comes out a little softer than usual, a mix of fear and uncertainty. A reflex more than an insult intended. "Either you're going to tell me, or you're not. Any dancing around the issue like you're... kind of doing now is just going to waste both our times. Right?"

Pausing, Kurt's nose wrinkles for a second. "Unless storytelling is one of your favorite hobbies, in which case I'd be able to better understand all the verbal swirl."

[goodfella]

The quip, however timid, receives only a sharp brow nd a slow smile from Robin, who quickly orders a double marked espresso from the girl behind the counter before going back to pointing his attentions at Kurt's pretty face.

"It is my second favorite hobby. The first is fucking, if you're interested. You just want the truth from me? You may worry more if you have it. You may get it from a source better able to comfort you, if you wait. But I do know, and I am willing to stop dancing around the issue. Just, well, give me the word."

[likesboys]

Kurt splutters at the suggestion of sex so casually given by someone he hardly knows. It's not at all his style, and even though he and Robin are barely acquainted, Kurt's pretty sure that he gives off a fair impression to any and all who meet him — that of a guy who isn't about to leap into a one night stand or an orgy.

Not because people are any the lesser for it, but just because it isn't him. And it isn't what he wants out of a relationship.

"Not interested, very happily committed," Kurt says first with a frown, before breathing deeply again at Robin's words. "Okay. Just lay it on me. I'm not looking for comfort, I, I'm looking for the truth. You seem like you can give me that."

[goodfella]

"Never hurts to make the offer," Robin points out easily, before leaning forward over the table to cut to the chase. Sliding his tie carefully off of the surface and pinning it to his chest where it leans against the table's edge, he lowers his voice and heaves a sigh.

"Wherever they're going, they're coming back upset. No, a better way to say it would be, emotionally upheaved. Frightened, some of them straight to the hospital. Sometimes the third floor, if you get my meaning. And some of them are coming back hurt in more obvious ways. There are wounds. Wherever they are going, it seems to be real enough. But some of them are coming back. That is heartening, isn't it? That alone? Sent to hell and back again, but at least it's an option."

[likesboys]

Kurt's gaze starts to brush off to the side as soon as Robin speaks, the flush draining from his face as he quickly grabs onto his knees for lack of anything else to hold onto, for lack of anything else to grip in place of fear. Because all of that — how is Kurt supposed to take it? How is he supposed to comprehend, to empathize, to even start to comfort Lisbeth if she returns?

He hopes that Robin's wrong, but there's enough of a twist in his gut telling Kurt that the odds are stacked against that possibility.

"Were you there?" he asks instead, brow furrowing.